How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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