Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
