He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
