i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
