We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Michael Bay diarrhea
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
