i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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