Don't you send me to vm
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
