Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
