Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
