I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
