In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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