So gin and wine won't be happening again
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
