is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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