I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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