i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
