found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
