Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
