If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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