I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
