I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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