i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
