How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
