You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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