I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
