i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
