ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
