can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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