i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize