what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
