You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
