Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
