I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
