Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
