There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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