dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
We need to rekindle our bromance
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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