Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
