u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i would one night stand the shit outta him
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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