Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Randomize
