dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He did a backflip because drugs
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
