Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
