I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
