I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
