We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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