i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
