no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
