I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
