I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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