i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
