don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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