My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
