No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
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