We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
