WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
