Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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