I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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