and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
