Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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