I faked an abortion last night.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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