At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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