I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Your cock deserves a montage
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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