I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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