Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
