There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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