I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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