Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
