i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
